A way of venting~*~ [Niki]

[Deleted]

Natalia was beyond frustrated.

She was angrily and desperately beating at a dummy (a special one, for those with super strength, since her strength - while not insanely strong, was still a bit more than average.), trying to keep the tears from falling, beating it to as much a pulp as a dummy could be. She would move on to knives soon, but right now, she just needed the satisfaction of hand-on-metal contact. She needed to feel the contact, the hit, feel the pain of hitting the now-warming-up metal.

Vanya always said such hurtful, hurtful, hurtful things, and she didn’t understand it.

Thwack!

All she ever wanted was to be happily married to him, taking care of him as she should, keeping away the bullies with her precious younger twin, Nikita.

Thwack!

But he was always playing hard to get, always damaging her heart with his cold words.

Thwack!

Hell. He said it would be hell. Why did he say that? I am really not that bad… am I?

With a groan of effort, she gave another thwack! and the dummy’s head was knocked off completely. She regarded it with a sigh, paying it attention for only a moment before she continued her assault on the dummy, causing those around her to eye her wearily and avoid her as much as they could.

She wished Niki would show up; he was always very calm and supportive of her, and he was perhaps the only one she didn’t mind near her Vanya. And perhaps Katya, but she was still wary of her.

And no, she did not just whimper.

[okko]

Nikita tapped his pen against his cheek in thought, his eyes wandering over to the wall that divided him and his Bpat.

"Ah."

He caught himself staring at that wall; it happened again. His eyes continued to trail towards that wall. He couldn't work with this distraction; Nikita prided himself on his dedication and his willpower to concentrate on the task at hand, but the mere presence of his Bpat was more than enough to occupy all of Nikita's mind. Leaning back against his chair, he dropped the pen on his current assignment and leaned up to look at the ceiling. It was completely obvious that he couldn't work at the moment. He pushed back his chair and stood up, perhaps he would visit the combat dojo to get his mind off his Bpat.

He exited his room and ten cards of the deck he always kept on himself floated around him the instant he took a step out of the room. It was a natural defense and a sign for everyone to keep away. He played with the Ace of Spades, a card that he especially liked. He was lucky, there was no people within the hallways that led to the combat dojo.

Opening the door to the room, the ten cards disappeared into the case that contained the rest of the cards. He noticed that everyone isolated one person that was ferociously beating away at a metal dummy. There was only one person that held that type of ferocity and that person, he was proud to claim, was his older twin Sestra, Natalia Arlovskaya. Upon closer inspection, Nikita realized that there was misery behind every assault upon the dummy. The only thing that brought her misery was Bpat's lying words. He briefly wondered what Bpat said to her this time as he walked over to his twin Sestra after picking up the head of the dummy that she sent flying. He was impressed: Sestra-Nata was so powerful. He reached out and tapped Natalia on the shoulder, greeting her with a slight smile.

"Sestra-Nata, what is the matter, da?" he spoke, his fingers running over the cooled metal of the head. "Has Bpat spoke lies to you again?"

[Deleted]

She could feel the tears stinging the corners of her eyes, the slight prickly feeling in her nose, but she continued her assault until she felt a light tapping on her shoulder. She whirled around, ready to unleash her wrath on whomever dared interrupt her, but calmed down a little when she realized it was only her younger twin, Nikita Arlovski.

"Sestra-Nata, what is the matter, da? Has Bpat spoke lies to you again?" The small smile on his lips helped her to calm down somewhat. Niki was the only one who ever really understood her, because they were so similar. It was a relief.

She nodded warily, trying not to let the brokenness she felt show on her face. She knew he would probably see it anyways; he always did. “D-da, he did. He told me that… h-he told me this year will be hell… b-because we will be here….”

She bit her lip harshly, then turned to issue another rapid blow to the dummy. An arm flew off in her anger. Damn it all to hell. That was dreadful aim. She let out an irritated cry as she hit it again, this time denting the ‘chest’ and hurting her hand a bit in the process. The tears in her eyes threatened to fall as she turned back to Nikita, chest heaving from exertion and absolute rage, frustration, and sadness pooling inside her.

“Wh-why does he say these lies, Niki? Does he not realize how hu-hurtful it is?” Her expression was pained and her voice was low, quiet, and wavering.

She angrily wiped away a tear, turning once again to hit the dummy, putting all of her emotions into it. The metal warped completely inward, causing damage that would take a long time to fix, if at all. She bit back a yelp of pain as she pulled her hand back, feeling a bruise forming. Her strength may have been more than average, but it wasn’t enough to rely upon like her primary power.

Frustrating. It was all so frustrating and it took her everything not to cry helplessly. She was a strong young woman, she had to be strong for Vanya. He would not respect her, much less love her, if she were to just cry. She swallowed and faced her twin again, letting out a sigh. “B-but it is no matter, da? H-he is only playing his cruel games again…. R-right?”

[okko]

He quietly listened to his twin speak of how Bpat's words have hurt her deeply while watching her beat away mercilessly to the metal dummy. His fingers idly played with the metal head of the dummy, processing everything she said and thinking of how to best comfort his grieving Sestra. He utterly despised seeing his strong twin Sestra so heartbroken and lost. He merely waited for her to finish her little beating of the dummy, wincing inwardly every time Natalia let out a yelp of pain, her eyes watering. He knew it was better to first let Natalia work off a bit of her swirling emotions.

"He is most definitely playing another game with us, Sestra-Nata," Nikita spoke, dropping the head once Natalia had finished. "He plays these games with us to test us and see if we are indeed worthy of him." He reached his arm towards his devastated Sestra, wiping her unspilled tears away with his thumb. He then grabbed the small, injured hand of Natalia, rubbing over the forming bruise on her knuckles gently. "Sestra-Nata, he has been hurt as well. Since we are the first to ever accept him as a whole, he is rejecting us because he has never felt the feeling of acceptance before. His words are biting because he does not know how to clearly express his feelings towards us. It is his little game to see if we can handle him, da?" He gave a small, reassuring smile; a smile that was only reserved for his beloved family.

"Do not worry, Sestra-Nata. I am here to eliminate all your doubts. Bpat most definitely loves us," Nikita spoke. "We must simply give him time. Then he will come to us himself, apologizing for ever saying those cruel words to you, Sestra-Nata."

[Deleted]

Natalia felt her heart lift at her younger twin’s words, giving her own small smile in return. His cool touch on her knuckles seemed to help calm her down, familiar and comfortable, and she gave a sigh of relief. “Da, Niki, you are right. As always, you are right, my sweet little bpat’. Your words do much to reassure me.” Her voice was soft, wavering from her raging emotions. “Vanya is merely giving a test because he is frightened. But in the end, he will see how much we understand him and how much he needs us. That we are the only ones for him, da?”

Yes, Nikita always spoke sense. Wonderful, reassuring sense. While her heart was still aching dully, she still felt much better and put her forehead to his, sighing. “Were it not for you, I would not have my sanity, dorogoya Niki. I am feeling better now, thank you.”

Her fingers twitched and she winced. The bruise forming would make it difficult to use that hand for a while. She frowned, brow furrowed. “That was.. Quite ridiculous of me, wasn’t it? Losing control of my emotions like that. I am not quite that strong….”

[okko]

"Da, Sestra-Nata," he spoke, looking into his Sestra's eyes, the same color as his own. Their eye color rested on the borderline of the color of Ivan's eyes, so close to being the same color as their Bpat's but yet so far. Would their relationship with Ivan fall into the horrible tragedy like the colors of their eyes? Mere inches to having him, yet miles and miles to actually having him. He must not think of these thoughts; he was to support his twin Sestra, not create doubts within his own mind. "Da, Sestra-Nata. We will always be the only ones for him. There is no one but us who can have Bpat."

With every beat of his heart, heartache flowed throughout his veins, mocking him of the truth he refused to accept. Closing his eyes, he killed the voice of that mockery, leaving behind no trace of its existence within his mind. When he opened his eyes, there was no heartache beating within him, only conviction of his Bpat's love towards them flowed within his mind and body. "It is no problem, Sestra-Nata. Those doubts and pain you feel, I am happy to rid of them for you. That is what siblings do for one another, da?" he stated, conviction within those bluish-violet eyes of his. He pulled away and once again rubbed his fingers over the bruise upon feeling his Sestra's fingers twitch within his grasp.

"Nyet. Nothing you ever do can fall under the category of ridicule, Sestra-Nata. You were merely lifting off your pain," Nikita said. "That is of normal human behavior, da? You could never do anything ridiculous. You are much too strong and intelligent to pull such a feat." A small smile graced his lips as he looked into his twin's eyes. That color, their fate with Ivan would not end up like the fate of color of their eyes. He and Natalia would have Ivan, no matter what the cost. They will become one. A small chuckle escaped him. "Do not think of yourself as lower than you actually are, Sestra-Nata. You are strong."

[Deleted]

Looking into Nikita’s eyes had always been a comfort to her as they’d grown up together. Her mirror image that was always good to her and reassured her. Therefore, it bothered her when she noticed something… troubled in her twin’s eyes… he closed them, and it was gone, there for only a millisecond. Plenty of time, however, for her to see and feel a sliver of shame.

Of course. How selfish of her. She was not the only one with (ridiculous, there really is no reason for them) doubts. It would only make sense that Niki, too, had his doubts. They were supposed to assure each other.

"It is no problem, Sestra-Nata. Those doubts and pain you feel, I am happy to rid of them for you. That is what siblings do for one another, da?" He pulled away, still holding her hand gently, and she felt little ribbons of guilt slink around her heart.

That is what siblings do for one another, and she was not doing a very good job on her end.

Selfish, Natalia. Very selfish.

His smile was so certain as he assured her that she was simply being human. Strong. Intelligent.

but I am selfish. My twin, my Niki, forgive me… I will try not to be so selfish…

She inhaled and exhaled quickly, squeezed his hand despite the pain, and returned the smile. “Da, spasibo. And you are just as strong as I am, Niki.”

possibly stronger.

Her smile faltered for a moment. Definitely stronger. I will have to work to be strong like my little bpat’.

[okko]

"Spasibo, Sestra-Nata," Nikita spoke. "But my strength is nothing compared to yours. I am always in awe of your limitless strength." The fact that Natalia was speaking of mental strength never occurred to him. Like he had just stated, he was always put speechless upon seeing Natalia's physical strength and abilities. Not that many would know, he was normally quiet unless he was berating someone, comforting his twin Sestra, and proclaiming love for his Bpat and Sestra-Anya... strangely mainly to his Bpat.

He always seemed to have more of an affinity towards his Bpat rather than for his Sestra-Anya. Don't get him wrong; Nikita loved Sestra-Anya leaps and bounds, hurdle satellites. For her, he would climb the deepest ocean and swim in the highest mountain. True story.* Just... for his Bpat, he would do much more than that. This had him worry. Would his twin Sestra find him disgusting for favoring males over females? Would his twin Sestra find this as betrayal because he too wished to be one with their Bpat, just him alone?

Tendrils of guilt constricted tightly and deeply into his mind and heart. He was basically doing the same of what their Bpat was doing to his twin Sestra, feeding her lies. What would he do?

A small smile continued to stay on his lips, his thumb tracing over the bruised skin. The answer could not be more obvious. He would suppress it. Their Bpat was to marry his twin Sestra, that was plain as day. He was to merely stand in the sidelines and support her in every area. It wouldn't be too bad. His twin Sestra and his Bpat would be happy and... that's all that needed to be done in order to make him happy forever. He could and would forget the little heartache. After all, he would marry Sestra-Anya. Yes. He would... will be happy. He most definitely will be.

-
*AHAHAHA. SADIET (Sadik+Liet). MY AWESOME LOVE. IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I QUOTED YOU HERE. I AM GIVING THE CREDIT YOU DESERVE. <3

[Deleted]

"Spasibo, Sestra-Nata, but my strength is nothing compared to yours. I am always in awe of your limitless strength."

Guilt. Limitless strength? Did he really believe it? Yes, of course he did. This was Nikita. Her Nikita, the only one who had all of her trust, who always had so much faith in her, who always saved her from herself. He had the highest opinion of her, and did she even deserve it? No. She was so selfish, when had she ever helped him?

“My strength is not limitless,” she said quietly. “It is wavering and inconsistent. It is always you who relights the fire of my strength, my precious Nikita.” His thumb on her hurt knuckles made the pain seem less-so, just the fact that it was her twin. The only one who could possibly understood her deep love for her older siblings, harboring the same feelings for them. Niki would never hurt her, not ever.

“I am proud to be your twin, Nikita,” she said to him, her expression softened considerably. “I know you are the only one I could put my full trust in, one who would never play cruel games to hurt me, one I can always depend on. I will work hard to be a sister you could do the same with.” Just as he understood her great love for Anya and Ivan, she in return understood his.

This is how it had always been.


~o~
p-pfft. xDDD;; Zidler said that? ohgodloveforyouforever. andyouTwinnieforusingit.

[okko]

Nikita simply cast his eyes on her hand and his fingers rubbing over her knuckles as he listened to Natalia's words.

Her? Limited Strength? Having wavering and inconsistent strength?
Him? Relighting the essence of her strength? Never play cruel games with her? One able to be depended on?

"Your strength can never be wavering. It will never be inconsistent," he stated. "Though I may rekindle the flame to your strength, you alone makes that flame of strength burn brighter than any light. Sestra-Nata, you are indeed powerful. I will always be in envy whenever it comes to you."

His twin sister. His oh-so powerful and naive sister. She was so beautiful in her innocence and her purity. He wondered how different they turned out despite their being twins. Matching appearance yet opposing personality. Being an individual and one's own person must have really come into play when it came to the two of them.

"I am also glad to be your twin, Sestra-Nata," he spoke softly. "You have no idea how prideful I am just to be your twin. I will always work hard to keep your trust. I will never betray you, Sestra."

Did he really deserve all her trust? He probably didn't. But... it did make him feel joyous when Natalia trusted him to this extent, even though there was that little pang of guilt. He always did enjoy being relied on by his family. There were his all. He hoped that he would never have to come to a situation where he had to hurt her. She was so fragile, so easily swayed, she was so delicate. Her mentality was so innocent, just like Ivan's. He would always protect her so that she may retain her innocent yet twisted mentality that also resided in Ivan. He had to.

He lifted her hand and lightly kissed her bruised knuckles before giving a small smile. He gestured to the door of the combat dojo.

"Let us leave, Sestra-Nata," he stated, slowly ushering her to the door. "There is no longer a reason for us to remain here, da?"

Letting out a small chuckle, he cast one last gaze at the damaged dummy that held a portion of Natalia's sorrow. Facing forward, he opened the door and pushed Natalia's back gently out the door. The Ace of Spades slipped out of the deck of cards, fluttering in the air gently. Without turning back towards the object of Natalia's despair, he directed the card towards the metal dummy. The card sliced through the metal cleanly, continuing its vicious attack. In matter of ten seconds, numerous amounts of tiny metal shards rested on the ground. He wouldn't leave any object that held Natalia's desperation out for anyone to see. He would dispose any trace of her sorrow. He would protect her. The Ace of Spades fell back to its original position in the deck of cards as he too stepped out of the combat dojo. The door closed behind them in silence. He would always be there to protect her.

This is how it had always been.