I Had The Blues But I Shook Them Loose [Kiku]

[Deleted]

Lukas had never been one to willingly look to others for help. Even in situations where it was clear he couldn't manage on his own, asking for someone else's aid was hard for him, always making him feel lacking in some way. He had always been the big brother who was there to help Eirik, he was the one who kissed scraped knees better and helped with homework and chased away nightmares in the dark of the night when their parents were asleep. And somehow, at some point, that mentality carried over into all aspects of his life. Lukas Iversen was the perfect big brother. Lukas Iversen did not ask for help.

However, there was one exception to the rule. Five years ago, when his parents had made the decision to send him to Asher Academy, he'd been ready to accept any bit of help the school would offer him if that meant he could finally get rid of the jumble of emotions in his head and live his life like a normal kid. Or well, a quiet and scowling and serious kid, but nonetheless.

Lukas stopped in front of a door, glancing up at the small sign where a familiar name read in small, white, letters. Kiku Honda. After a second's consideration, he raised his hand and knocked lightly on the door, hoping the combat teacher wouldn't mind him showing up at his room without notice.

Kiku had been the teacher he'd been directed to soon after he'd started at Asher. Possessing empathic skills himself, Mr. Honda had been the one the school believed would be able to help him most, and in that they'd been right. Even though at first Kiku had been the small man who spoke in a funny way, he'd been calm and kind and Lukas had quickly warmed up to him. There was something about him that had made him highly approachable to someone like Lukas, and communicating with him had been easy, even when they couldn't cross the language barrier.

Over the years, Lukas had learned to respect the Japanese man, as well as appreciate his company. As he grew more confident with his abilities, he needed less and less private tutoring from Kiku, but at the same time he started confiding in the man in more personal matters. It was Kiku he went to if he needed a teacher's council or an adult's opinion, as he felt he was the one who knew him best and who he could also trust.

Lukas stared at the sign on the door, waiting for someone to answer the door. He didn't knock again though, not wanting to seem too impatient. Standing there, he briefly wondered if he really should be here at all before deciding that he'd put this off for too long already. He didn't want to bother Kiku needlessly, but things were getting to the point his control was starting to slip, and he needed to do something before he went mad. With a sigh, he leaned hand against the door frame and rested his forehead on it. It didn't seem Kiku was in at the moment.

[KIKU HONDA]

Kiku walked through the halls on the way to his classroom, a thermos of hot tea in one hand and a stack of papers in the other. He had a mundane afternoon of test corrections and schedule organizing ahead of him, but it luckily wouldn’t be anything too stressful. It was just another day at his desk for him; nothing he couldn’t handle.

Everything appeared to be ordinary, until he turned the corner and was met with an old but familiar sight. A student was leaned against his classroom’s door, face hidden by dark blonde hair as it pressed against the frame. Even without the signature hairpin donning it, Kiku could have easily guessed who it was.

“お久しぶり ね、” He said under his breath, surprised enough that he switched to his native tongue without thought. It’d been a while since a case such as this had happened, though it was frequent enough in years past that he could easily decipher the situation now. It appeared as though Lukas Iversen, one of his most memorable students, was on the verge of losing control.

He knew that asking if the empathic was alright was unnecessary. It was obvious just from the colors pulsing around him that he felt stressed and exhausted. Dark gray and blue hugged the space around him, though it hadn’t yet enveloped him. That was a good sign. Thinking back to when they first met was outstanding in contrast. Kiku remembered a young boy whose aura took a shape resembling a monster, constantly changing colors from the onslaught of others’ emotions. To be honest, seeing it made him a touch apprehensive at first; he’d doubted that he could really help the boy when he was prone to occasional shutdowns himself. However, it pained him to see a problem so familiar in action, and he was willing to do anything to help.

At the start, he did for Lukas what he wished someone had done for him at that age. When the emotions of others became too much to bear, Kiku gave the student a quiet space in which he could relax. He listened to what the first year was willing to disclose, and vouched for his comfort in the presence of other adults. This was an extraordinary case of sensory overload, after all, and one that he could empathize with. The language barrier was a minor obstacle, but both their English improved as the years went on. Their relationship grew, and he slowly got to see what Lukas was like when he felt at his best; an independent young man with a dry wit and a surprisingly gentle nature. The two of them fit well together.

After all this time, Kiku now knew what the Norwegian needed down to a point. Smothering and bombarding him with questions would do nothing to help, nor would giving him directions and lording authority over him. It seemed all he needed nowadays was an open space and a calm presence to help keep his ability in check. Though Lukas didn’t admit it outright, his aura always flashed a dull red of irritation when Kiku mentioned the words “help” or “support”. The young man didn’t like the thought of relying on others, even a teacher, and Kiku respected this. Today, like any other day, he would let Lukas lead the conversation - if he even wanted to talk, that is.

“Lukas,” the teacher called to catch the boy’s attention. Tucking the papers underneath his arm, he strode forward until he reached the locked entrance, nodding his head in greeting.

“Sorry for the wait. I was just about to grade some tests.” The teacher moved past as he pulled his keys from his pocket and unlocked the classroom door. He held it open for his student, inviting him in with an easy smile.

“Would you like to join me?”

~
((translation - “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”))

[Deleted]

Lukas wasn't sure what he should do now. He hadn't considered the chance of Kiku not being available, even if that was a stupid mistake in his part, and so the disappointment hit a bit harder than expected. Of course he could always come back later, but right now he didn't feel like returning to his dorm or wandering down the halls of the academy where there were other students. He needed quiet, and he needed comfort, even if it was only the company of someone who knew what it was like to feel the way he did.

Luckily he didn't have to stand there for long before his decision was made for him, Kiku's voice calling over to him, soft and familiar. Lukas immediately pushed himself off the wall to stand up straight, feeling a little embarrassed at having been seen in such a state. But at the same time he was relieved and glad, the older man's presence immediately soothing him and dulling the worst edge of his anxiety.

“Sorry for the wait. I was just about to grade some tests.”

”It's fine.” He assured, glancing at the stack of papers tucked under the teacher's arm and wondering if he should offer to come back later after all. Not that he wanted to, but he also hated being a burden and distracting Kiku from his work. However, Kiku beat him to it and decided for him once more with his request. Giving a short nod, Lukas didn't quite return that smile but his expression did soften in response, and he stepped past Kiku into the small office.

The place seemed smaller than the first time he'd stepped in as a 11-year-old, but it still held that somewhat special feeling that made it different from the other rooms in the building. It had a special smell, too, something he'd never managed to exactly place but never failed to bring back memories from his early days at Asher. He didn't come here as often now as he had in the past, but the chair he'd pretty much claimed as his own never moved from its place in the corner and so Lukas walked straight up to it and took a seat. Maybe it would've been polite to wait for a permission, but he was pretty sure Kiku wouldn't mind either way. This is what he always did, after all.

”Sorry to bother you when you're busy.” He toed his shoes off so he could bring his feet up on the chair, getting more comfortable. ”Is it okay if I just stay here for a bit?” It wouldn't be the first time the two had sat in silence for an extended time. Kiku seemed to know when he wanted to talk and when he didn't, and always made sure he didn't feel pressured to initiate a conversation if he didn't feel like it. Sighing, Lukas wrapped his arms around his legs and rested his cheek on his knee, curling up as if to protect himself from the outside world. An old habit he had never gotten rid of.